Category: Dating and Relationships
Well I do get myself out and about almost every day. But it seems like my luck just keeps running out. Friends are all back in Philly where as I live in Western Pa. Family is to absolute no help and I don't go to bars or clubs because I'm not that type of person.
So how can I trust the internet? I thought about looking in personal ads in the newspaper but those are scarce. And I don't trust facebook or myspace. So where do I look? How do I know it's the real person and not some imposter? Which websites are great but don't ask for money to help pair people up?
First of all, what do you enjoy doing?
Like think of your hobbies and interests.
Do you enjoy working with your hands?
If so, pottery might be just the thing to do, for example.
Then check into your local Community Center or school board offerings
To find out about taking some classes,
like a night class that meets once a week for say anywhere from 4-10 weeks or
Say Saturday morning workshops.
You're sure to meet people there in a class with like interests and
maybe that lover you are searching for. Who knows?
Good luck to ya,
~*Thunderous MidNight*~
You say, "Which websites are great
but don't ask for money to help pair people up?" The fact is that any halfway reputable and/or responsible dating service, online or otherwise, is going to cost you. There's no free lunch. If you're broke or unwilling to pay for what you want in life, you should probably work on getting your shit together before you start looking for love.
I think the suggestion on Post 2 is a good idea. I don't know of any dating websites to recommend because I'm a little skeptical of sites specifically designed for dating and don't specifically look to date, but I have signed up for some pen pal sites as another way to meet people. A good one, that is also free and seems pretty secure is at
http://www.alumnus.addr.com/cgi-bin/ematch38/index38.cgi
. You fill out a profile and can be as detailed (or not), as you want, and it also has a section to fill out the kinds of people you would want to hear from. Then, it gives you a list of users who match at least some of what you indicated in the profile, but of course you can also look thru other profiles yourself if you didn't find anyone in your list. Anyway, you get your own message board thing for each person you are communicating with, and so you can try out communicating with that person on the site before giving them any personal info. The only catch is that you have to sign into the site at least once every 30 days. Also, the reason I say it is secure is that I had gotten contacted by a person the site found out turned out to be a scammer, so they are good about keeping those types of people away and hopefully the rest are honest about themselves; I don't think there's going to be a definite way for any site to know whose being honest and whose not, so for that you'll have to just listen to your gut feeling I guess.
I dunno, the idea of looking for love on the 'net seems a little scary to me. People can have a different persona in real life also, but I think on the net having a different persona is even more prevvelent. Are there safe ways to meet people? Surely talking to them on phone is a start, then what? Do you bring a friend with you when you go to meet said person? What if you don't have friends or family in the area you guys are going to meet up at? Meeting in a public place I would assume would be the next best option. However I still think you need to have ways of protection, or at least have a way to get out of there if said person turns out to be oh so different then they preclaimed online.
John
See my mom found her husband on the internet, but then again, when I tried it, everything went awry. Just go with your gut instinct.
Okay so if nothing seems to odd go for it? and hope for the best.
if your going to look for love on line, be very careful. unless you are only looking for friendship from them, guys are lying cheating dogs, and will play you. Okay, so I should have said, most! are, but I haven't seen anything that doesn't support this. My personal experience is, that unless I make it clear that I only want friendship, they think that they can have whatever they want from me. Don't get me wrong, I have males that are just friends, but the rest, just think that I'm some sort of sex toy.
I found love online, quite by chance. I wasn't looking for it and assumed I'd just made another new friend. The big thing for me was that he didn't rely on innuendo to try to impress me, he was just genuinely interested in me. And so it went from there.
Take a nursing class at your local community college you'll be in an estrigen ocean.
I was never big on finding a relationship online... Through past experience, I'd say only one or two guys out of every hundred are able to have meangingful conversation (a good start), and have the capacity (and willingness) to be your friend or more. Really, getting involved in community/social activities that you enjoy is the number one way, if you ask me.
All that aside, I've heard good things about http://www.eharmony.com/
You can try it out for free, but to continue on, you have to pay, but really, it filters out the people who aren't serious about it. (Okay, unless there are scum out there who just have way too much time and money on their hands too). Other then that, look for general community sites, -- and that doesn't mean Myspace or Facebook, there are lots out there.
Goodluck
it's good that it worked out for you Mel.
I guess you just have to take the plunge.
I met my husband on a chat program. It wasn't anything like the Accessible Chat that use to be around, but literally an online chat program; it was called FireFly, and I don't believe it's around anymore. Anyways, I didn't go looking, it just happened that we had a lot in common, and that got us to start talking. We've been together for about 10.5 years, and I'm talking about physically, we talked online and on the phone for about 6 months before that...He's still the love of my life. So, online can work, but be safe...
well, I thought I had met someone here. She turned out to be, I think, a complete fraud and trying to pull a scam on me. I'ts so amazing the way someone can create a complete persona, including spending hours on the phone with someone and hide behind the distance. Well, I guess someone could be next door and do the same but perhaps more fear of being found out.
I've tried a lot of the dating sites and think some of them might work for some of you - I'm not much of ann email correspondant and do better if someone will just talk to me over the phone or, better yet, meet for that proverbial cup of coffee. At least in the lesbian world, seems women want to write to you for a year before they will agree to meet and I can't hold that sort of correspondance up with someone. They al charge once you want to do more than just flirt with someone but if you flirt with someone who is a member they can usually write to you and tell you how to send them regular email. But you can usually sign up and only join when you do find people you want to write to. I found match.com to be the easiest, most accessible site to use.
I also have a couple of friends who met their spouses on-line so it really can work.
I met my b/f online last year, and though the site was more of a dating site, we both were only on there looking for friends. My best advice is to be careful, avoid long distance relationships if you can, and be as cautious as you need to be. Most guys are not willing to correspond for a year without meeting, and that's understandable, but here's my own personal motto:
feeling nervous is okay; feeling skittish is not.
I don't do the online dating. I would much rather date someone I know in person. It's all about the trust and distance.
Troy
For me, the jury is still out regarding online dating. On one hand, the Net is a great place to meet people in a non-threatening, safe environment. On the other hand, I'm not sure it's wise to enter into a long-term relationship with anyone without meeting them live and in person. I have seen online, long-distance relationships go down in flames, and I have also seen some succeed. So I guess the answer is that there's no clear answer.
KL
Don't hope for much when you meet someone on line, no matter how it is you meet them. Just take it slowly and don't do anything big until you both meet. Most people that go online are either with serious health problems either phizical and psychological. Not trying to scare you off, just warning you, but at the same time, try to maintain contacts in the community and online, if you think they are worthwhile.
I would highly reccomend E Harmony, which unlike match dot com is not just a meat market online. If you are well-spoken, well-written, intelligent, careful and are willing to pay a small membership fee you may have success. I would also reccomend that you use normal dating resources whether they be the personals in the newspaper, online dating sites or meet and greet club situations, as opposed to sticking only to blind community gatherings and web sites. Also be sure that you are actually intending to meet your perspective matches from online sites and that you are ready for that. Relationships can start online, but they need to grow in person.